Now don't you worry I'm not going to go through what I did day by day, I'll just give you the best bits!
The highlights for me were mostly incredible sights. First one being the top of Montserrat the whole thing was just incredible. I was really rewarding to climb part of it too, its not something I ever imagined doing. But I'm really glad I did.
The monastery there was absolutely stunning, it was pristine with some of the most beautiful vistas imaginable. I always have this strange conflict when I go to places like this though, places of religion. I always think of how beautiful the buildings are but then I think of what conflict and pain religion has caused and it makes it bitter-sweet. I had the same feeling at the Vatican, especially when I found that the building materials had been "recycled" from the Colosseum if only we could have kept both. Although I still appreciate their beauty and historical significance. I always think that if I could go back and do a different degree I'd do ancient history or the history of art.
The other highlight for me was the La Sagrada Familia. It was actually magical and I never use that word. I couldn't believe my eyes! From the outside it is beyond impressive but then you step inside and are transported to another world. If I had to describe it honestly I'd say its like some Disney princess castle on magic mushrooms. It's so heavenly and beautiful but then its also twisted and distorted; it is a work of art! I don't think there is or will be anything like it; and to think that Gaudi in visioned all of this in his day its truly inspiring. I would recommend everyone to go and see this with your own eyes as it is absolutely breathtaking.
Once I had returned from Barcelona I had to prepare myself go go back to reality which was a bit depressing but oh well.
First thing I did when I got back was board a train to London in order to attend the Women in Games Jobs conference. I was so anxious about this as I had in visioned it to be this really intimidating event, full of people pushing and shoving to be heard. I had tried to prepare myself the best I could I had had business cards made and made myself look as presentable as possible but I was still super nervous.
But once I had got there I had found it to be the exact opposite, I felt right at home amongst these people as they were so helpful and welcoming. I don't know why but I always feel like I stick out like a sore thumb because in the end I got on with everyone and made some contacts and more importantly learnt a great deal. It was really interesting to hear what these industry professionals had to say about their work and how they see the industry. It was also encouraging to see that many of them are pushing for change and encouraging people like me to take a chance on myself and have some confidence. One of the statistics that stood out for me is that studies showed that a male is more likely to apply for a job if they only had 3 or 4 out of 10 of the desired criteria but a female would hold back on applying until they had all 10! That rings so true for myself! I think as a female I often put myself down and see others as being more capable even if they probably aren't. The whole conference made me feel less isolated and alone listening to what others had been saying made me realise that all of these inspiring and successful people had once been in my shoes and had felt the same. This comforted me somewhat. I felt really positive after returning from the conference as it seemed that there were more people willing to help me as I originally thought. I tried to savour this thought as I knew I would feel less positive when I returned to uni once again.
Over the summer I had done some leisurely painting work and studies but not a lot of 3D work and any that I had done, I had lost momentum and not finished. If I'm honest it's hard for me to be super passionate about producing stuff for my artist portfolio as I don't actually want to be an artist anymore. It feels a bit redundant especially when I get myself so wound up about it; it can get a bit much with all the hounding competition and cock swinging that goes on. I just want to do stuff that makes me happy and sometimes 3D just makes me miserable. Sorry but it does, I don't want to pretend that I want to be the worlds greatest 3D modeller or texture artist because I don't and I'm not a false person.It's a bit of a kick in the teeth that I find this out after 2 years on the course but that's life unfortunately; I will try my best to complete this work and finish the course. But I have my eye on something else, something that I'm better suited to and I will excel at. I think since day 1 on the course I had the underlying felling that I wasn't going to get anywhere at this, at the time I thought it was just a crisis of confidence but I tried my best and it's time to face it, its not for me. BUT I can take what I have learnt and apply it to something I am good at and something I have a passion for, Which is exactly what I am planning on doing.
Here's a piece I enjoyed doing over the summer, it came about after watching the entire 2 series of the BBC's "Sherlock" in a relatively short space of time.
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